Christmas: Regaining my Childhood.

Growing up I believed in Santa far longer than any of my friends. I don't think I actually TRULY stopped believing until I turned 12 or 13. Of course I let my parents go on thinking I believed and finally dropped the bomb on them when I was 15 stating "I know he's not real and that you're the one getting me the presents. This is what I want this year." I remember that it truly felt like the end of my childhood when I stopped believing. I know that there are some out there who choose to tell their children from day 1 that Santa isn't real. I can tell you, however that Santa was a real man (at least one of the historical figures he was derived from).

For all things Santa both historical and fictional

This article that my sister in law posted on facebook got me thinking today. With all the stress that we face at this time of year, all of the hardships we've faced (and survived by the skin of our teeth) all year long, we deserve to have a little magic in all of our lives. With the Elf on the Shelf becoming a new tradition for many families to keep the idea of Santa alive (and our children in line) and being added to the ages old traditions we still follow (writing letters to Santa, going to see him at a store ((or Sea World if you're Floridian inclined lol)), tracking his movements, baking the cookies and setting out the milk) I thought "why not add something new to the mix to involve mommies and daddies as well?" So here's my plan.

Each year, when Lady Bug writes her letter to Santa, The Awesomeness and I will be writing one as well with a list of things that we've really wanted all year but couldn't get ourselves. We'll tell her that Santa has decided that, for some really good mommies and daddies that still believe in him (especially with all the financial woes we all face), he'll be buying  one gift off of their list and give them on Christmas Day when he brings the presents for the kids. But he can only bring ONE of the gifts for each parent and sometimes just one gift together if they both asked for it because he has a toy factory, not a factory for grown up toys, and has to spend money to get the gifts for the parents. So this is our new Christmas tradition. In doing this, I feel that I'm somehow able to regain some of the magic of my childhood. To have even more to look forward to on Christmas morning other than the smiles of my little angel.

Having Zoe has brought back all of the magic and memories that I have from my childhood and I'm happy to be helping her make memories that she'll share with her children some day. The Elf on the Shelf well be visiting us next year as well and I can't wait to see what mischief he/she gets into. I adore Christmas and all of the traditions we carry on and merge as our two families have come together. I wish all of my family and friends a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

The Story of a Girl.

The Awesomeness (my husband) and I had been thinking about having children after I'd had a pregnancy scare in May of 2009. We were so disappointed when we found out that we were not pregnant that we decided we were ready, it was just figuring out the when. Well God went ahead and made that decision for us. I was getting ready to get off of "the pill" in July when I started feeling really sick in June. I've had stomach problems all my life and so I didn't think too much about it until it had gone on for about six weeks. I finally got off of the pill in July thinking it might be making me sick but the puking didn't stop. I had so much pain, and was barely eating. I blacked out almost every day. I started having trouble with my asthma too and stayed in and out of the doctor's office with it. I finally had enough and decided to go see my doctor about all of the stomach issues. He asked if I could be pregnant but I had been on the pill so i didn't think about it. He went on and did a pregnancy test before an x-ray and the nurse walked in with this little plastic thing. The following is my (and my husband's) reaction:

Needless to say I was severely unprepared for what was to come. Yeah, I wanted to be a mommy but I was so surprised and as my stomach began to grow, my doubts as to whether or not I could handle motherhood grew as well. However, I was basking in the glow of pregnancy. I loved the way it made me feel and look. I was so insanely happy, especially when she started moving that I really did "glow". 

Then I found out I was having a girl!! She made kissy faces at the ultrasound tech and the 4D images showed how beautiful she was. I cried when I first saw her this way.

But at the moment of truth, when I actually began Labor, I became terrified. What if that little switch doesn't turn on? What if I'm not going to be a good mother. What if I can't handle the stinky diapers.... what if my back gets really messed up and I can't take care of her? I stalled out at 6 centimeters dilated and they decided to do a csection at 4 PM. The meds that they used to numb me made me so sick that I puked all over everything. The Anesthesiologist said he had never in 20 years of working c-sections seen ANYONE puke that much. I was covered in it so when they finally got her out they couldn't put her right up to me since I was still puking. They had to clean me up best they could, change my gown and everything. But the second I was put on the bed on my way back to our room, they laid her in my arms. As she began to cry and I cried with her that lightbulb turned on. I knew from that moment that I'd never let anything or anyone harm her. 

And so Zoebug came into this world on March 5th 2010 at 4:24 PM. She weighed 7lbs 14oz and was 19 inches long. She was perfectly healthy... no health issues at all. She took to the breast very well and was a complete angel. I didn't even have trouble with the stinky diapers! And so she grew.

 And now... she's almost 2!

She's happy, intelligent, adorable, silly, and incredibly loving. The only thing she's afraid of is her shadow and doesn't usually cry when she hurts herself. She's got a huge attention span and prefers colored pencils to crayons. She's got an amazing sense of fashion and humor. She loves to dance. She has crazy good rhythm. Every fear I ever had vanishes when it comes to her. I'd go through anything just to keep her smiling. So this is the story of how Zoe came to be and catching up to how she is now.